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Gruntipedia fun: Great Covenant Book of Jokes
The Great Covenant Book of Jokes was a holy text written by the Prophet of Truth, designed to keep up Covenant morale, but was soon discovered to consist of truly dreadful jokes, and has been deemed their downfall in the Human-Covenant War. It has been confirmed that this is the only book in the libraries of Covenant hell and has been attributed as the #1 cause of suicides on the Covenant side. Other Known Jokes Truth: Knock Knock. Elite: Who's there? Truth: Ivan. Elite: Ivan who? Truth: Ivan enormous snake in my pocket. Elite: ... ---- Truth: What do you call a Human? Brute: I don't know. What do you call a Human? Truth: Vermin! ---- J'sta: Knock knock. Truth: Who's there? J'sta: J'sta. Truth: J'sta who? J'sta: J'sta Friendee. Truth: Don't dawdle, come in then. ---- Truth: How many Grunts does it take to screw a lightbulb? 343 Guilty Spark: What? Arbiter: One, to ask a mighty Elite to do it. Truth: No! Five, they all stand on each other's heads. Arbiter: Were it so easy. ---- Truth: Knock knock. Tartare Sauce: Who's there? Truth: Jeff. Tartare Sauce: Jeff who? Truth: Jeff fancy going out tonight? ---- Truth: Knock knock. Mercy: Who's there? Truth: Chester. Regret: Chester who? Truth: Chester minute, don't you know who I am? ---- Truth: What do you call a group of 5 or more Hunters? Johnson: A lot of worms in cans? Truth: No, your death. ---- Gravemind: Knock, knock Truth: Who's there? Gravemind: Do not be afraid. I am peace; I am salvation.I am a timeless chorus. Join your voice with mine, and sing victory everlasting. Truth: What? Gravemind: Uhh, I have candy. Truth: Umm, yummy. Come in. ---- Truth: What do you call an Elite cookie that's not in the Covenant? Tartare Sauce: *sigh* What? Truth: A cook. ---- Truth: What do you call a Greek Spartan? Arbiter: A gladiator? Truth: No, a Greek Spartan! AHAAHHAOHAOHOOHHOAHAIoihaaAHIOHAIOAIH!! Arbiter: Kill me, waste my time not with jokes. ---- Truth: Knock kno- Johnson: Wait, why are you telling all the jokes here? Arbiter: If they qualify as jokes. ---- Truth: Arbiter, you are a loser. Arbiter: Rtas Vadumee is a bigger loser!! HE lost the infinite sucker!! Truth: And you lost Halo. Arbiter: That hurt. ---- Truth: A Grunt, Brute, and Drinol walk into a bar, the Grunt gets a stool, the Brute takes the stool, and the Drinol stays outside. The bartender (Whom is an Elite) then says: We don't serve your kind here, then the Brute grabs the elite and says: I will tear your flesh out, drink your blood, tug out your ears and make you eat them, tear out your skull and sell it on eBay, eat your fingers with salt and ketchup, and suck your- Then the Elite chokes out: I was talking to the Grunt. Arbiter: Were it so boring. ---- Truth: What do you call a stupid loser? Mercy: I don't know. What? Truth: "Regret". ---- Truth: How many Grunts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 343 Guilty Spark: According to your previous answer to this incorrect scenario, "5". Truth: No, one to go ask a mighty Brute to do it. Arbiter: And so, you must be silenced. Arbiter stabs Truth with his Energy Sword. ---- Truth: What do you call a giant Human in green armor? Brute: I don't know, great hierarch. What is the answer? Truth: I don't know you buffoon! That's why I asked you. ---- Truth: What is in the middle of "The Great Journey"? Brute: Once we arrive, you will be. Truth: No you imbecile! It's a "t". ---- Truth: Why did MB cross the road? Brute: Why are you using forum speek? Truth: To JOIN the other side! HAHAHAHA... ---- Truth: Why Caboose is the most bad ass character? Johnson: Why you little! Imma the most badass character! *chokes Truth* Truth: I *erghh* just want *arghh* the answ- *arghhh herghh ah...* ---- Master Chief: Haha! I shall now throw dust in your eye! Marine: Damn you! I can't see! D'am-U Icantsee: Yes? ---- Truth:How many grunts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Arbiter:Acording to the last time you did this joke - "1". Truth:Wrong!The answer is "8".One to notice that the bulb needs to be changed,five to stand on each other's heads to unscrew the old one,one to get a new bulb and the last one to call a mighty Brute to screw in the ligthbulb. Arbiter:Grrrrrr... Arbiter stabs Truth in the same place with his Energy Sword. ----